In the car to the office this morning, I was thinking of relationships and what strange unexpected twists and turns they may take in the course of a person's journey through life. I remember we had carried a story on verbal abuse in a marriage; it was a lift from our US edition but I thought it might find an echo. Sure enough, a reader wrote us a wonderfully sensitive letter saying that she had just walked out of her seven-year marriage largely because she could not take the verbal abuse any more, and that she was heartened to read the article on the issue. Abuse in a marriage of course takes on various hues. Verbal abuse is difficult to 'measure' or label and is relative. What seems to be black and white is of course, physical abuse. But here's a thought: is a shove, a push, a slapping on the arm 'physical abuse'? Is a one-time event 'physical abuse'? And more significantly, could the trigger have been too much or enough to provoke the abuse? Here of course I am not referring to the habitual wife-beater but more the one-time perpetrator. I have come across three cases of physical abuse in the last few months. In each, while the psychological horror of the act virtually paralysed the victim, neither the victim nor the friends and supporters, paused to examine whther there was any possibility of the provocation being enough to push a normally sane individual over the edge. I am not advocating or supporting abuse in a marriage at all, however these are things to consider before slamming on accusations of vile spouse-beater. Having said that, in all three cases, this would really be more of an academic discussion since the scars from the abuse remain and continue to haunt each set of individuals. Their relationships may not be over for life, but have definitely been changed for life... If you visit this blog space, do leave your comments or thoughts